I have been reading a number of articles about stress and how it can adversely affect lives. Stress can be harmful to just about everyone. The articles that actually rely on scientific and/or medical studies are the ones to which I give most credence. Many others are merely trying to peddle a product which may or may not have any scientific basis to address excess stress.
One thing that repeatedly caught my attention is the fact that some stress is needed in our lives. It is the intermittent stress that compels us to act. Some degree of stress is needed for us to do what we need to do in our lives. This periodic stress is not the one that causes us health and emotional problems. Continual or unnecessary stress on a regular basis is what harms us. I have learned that excess stress can cause or be a contributing factor in high blood pressure, depression, diabetes and many more ailments.
I have found through my research that many factors can lead to continual stress in our lives. Unrealistic expectations, unfounded fears, regret concerning the past and fear of the future. There are many others too many to mention here. What I would like to discuss briefly is the "what if" thought pattern that I sometimes find myself falling into. "What if" I had saved more money? "What if" I had been more attentive to the needs of my spouse or children? "What if" my employer decides to down size the company and I am let go? "What if" I come down with a serious illness?
So, I at times find myself "what iffing" the past and/or the future. I then find myself worrying excessively, nervous, unable to eat or sleep normally. Regarding the past, I am fretting about something I cannot change. The past is past and not subject to alteration at this point. I find myself projecting into the future about things that might or might not happen and over which I have little or no control. I find that I am creating a great deal of stress concerning things that are outside of my ability to change or control. Unnecessary stress that adversely affects my health and quality of life.
The question for me then is how to avoid this damaging behavior. There are all kinds of answers. Therapists are available to help, medications are on the market that are designed to reduce our stress. When I find myself in such a sitation, I usually look within myself initially. The "what iffs" are for me normally based on regrets regarding past behaviors or fears about future events. How do I handle this mind set? I first look at the cause whether it be regret or fear. I recognize that I cannot change the past and really cannot predict the future. What I can do is live today. I can't change my failures as an employee, spouse or parent. I can be a better employee, spouse or parent today. My behaviors and thought patterns need to be aligned with reality today. I cannot establish a relationship with a child based on his/her being ten years old when they are thirty. I can be available to act, think and live in a healthy relationship based upon our ages, positions in life, needs and desires. Conversely, my "what iffs" based on fear of the future can be addressed by living my life today as best I can and doing the things I ought to do in my relationships including my employment.
I am just talking about my experience here. I encourage anyone with a condition that needs professional help to seek such assistance. My being a responsible today defeats many of the regrets and fears that have caused me stress throughout my life. I also find that gratitude for the life I have today freeing and enabling as I move through my life.
One thing that repeatedly caught my attention is the fact that some stress is needed in our lives. It is the intermittent stress that compels us to act. Some degree of stress is needed for us to do what we need to do in our lives. This periodic stress is not the one that causes us health and emotional problems. Continual or unnecessary stress on a regular basis is what harms us. I have learned that excess stress can cause or be a contributing factor in high blood pressure, depression, diabetes and many more ailments.
I have found through my research that many factors can lead to continual stress in our lives. Unrealistic expectations, unfounded fears, regret concerning the past and fear of the future. There are many others too many to mention here. What I would like to discuss briefly is the "what if" thought pattern that I sometimes find myself falling into. "What if" I had saved more money? "What if" I had been more attentive to the needs of my spouse or children? "What if" my employer decides to down size the company and I am let go? "What if" I come down with a serious illness?
So, I at times find myself "what iffing" the past and/or the future. I then find myself worrying excessively, nervous, unable to eat or sleep normally. Regarding the past, I am fretting about something I cannot change. The past is past and not subject to alteration at this point. I find myself projecting into the future about things that might or might not happen and over which I have little or no control. I find that I am creating a great deal of stress concerning things that are outside of my ability to change or control. Unnecessary stress that adversely affects my health and quality of life.
The question for me then is how to avoid this damaging behavior. There are all kinds of answers. Therapists are available to help, medications are on the market that are designed to reduce our stress. When I find myself in such a sitation, I usually look within myself initially. The "what iffs" are for me normally based on regrets regarding past behaviors or fears about future events. How do I handle this mind set? I first look at the cause whether it be regret or fear. I recognize that I cannot change the past and really cannot predict the future. What I can do is live today. I can't change my failures as an employee, spouse or parent. I can be a better employee, spouse or parent today. My behaviors and thought patterns need to be aligned with reality today. I cannot establish a relationship with a child based on his/her being ten years old when they are thirty. I can be available to act, think and live in a healthy relationship based upon our ages, positions in life, needs and desires. Conversely, my "what iffs" based on fear of the future can be addressed by living my life today as best I can and doing the things I ought to do in my relationships including my employment.
I am just talking about my experience here. I encourage anyone with a condition that needs professional help to seek such assistance. My being a responsible today defeats many of the regrets and fears that have caused me stress throughout my life. I also find that gratitude for the life I have today freeing and enabling as I move through my life.
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